some more venting

Wanted to get some vents out and just be random since it's been a while since my last post. I broke up with my boyfriend and that moment relieved so much stress for me. My only problem is I think I'm obsessed with Justin again. I never stopped loving him no matter how hard I tried to stop. It kills me inside that he doesn't feel the same way. I was talking to some friends before about it and actually crying to them too. With justin I feel like he really is the one and I really don't wana be with anyone but him. I was in full out tears asking myself what is wrong with me that Justin doesn't want me as a girlfriend. I really don't understand why he doesn't love me the same why that I love him. I would give almost anything in the world to be his girlfriend. The only thing I wouldn't give is my own life. No girl is willing to that for a guy either. He doesn't even realize he has a girl who is willing to almost anything just to have a chance with him. I love him so much and want to be with him so bad and I make it so obivious too but he is just too clueless to notice. He told me many times he only sees me as a friend and wants to stay friends. I told him I understand and accept that but really it is still very hard for me. Like said it really kills me more and more each day that I can't be with him in that way. Sometimes I feel as if I should just give up all together. I thought I was happy when I was with Mike. I was for a while but once I realized to myself that I still loved Justin and couldn't stop no matter how much I told myself to move on I couldn't. I really don't understand why I can't move, why my love for Justin has lasted for so long unlike the other high school crushes I've had. I've loved Justin since 2006 and today this day I still love him. I love him more and more each time I see him. I dream every day and wish every day that one day we can finally be together as boyfriend and girlfriend. The day that, that day comes I will most likely be the happiest person in the whole entire world. I wish like every night and hope one day the wish will come true.