Dwayne Johnson is so hot!

I thought I would update and make a happier entry then my last entry. I was watching the 2009 Kids Choice Awards earlier and OMG it was so good! Dwayne Johnson was the host. Let me just say Dwayne Johnson looks so hot in a dress lmao. He's number one on my celebrity boyfriend list now. He is so muscular and with no shirt on he is the hottest man alive lmao. I'm also happy that the twilight series won best book. Twilight was so good. I thought the book was better than the movie. I'm going to buy New Moon and read that. I might also get Eclipse and Breaking Dawn thats if I have enough for all of them. I hope I do, I want to read all the series, then go and watch the movies. New Moon comes out November 20, 2009, I can't wait lol. I also can't wait until July 17, 2009 when Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince comes out. November 19, 2010 is when Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part I comes out looking forward to that as well. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part II comes out July 15, 2011. I read all the Harry Potter books except the second because I lost it but I saw the movie so I didn't care to read it really. I'm so wide awake its 3 in the morning. I don't normally post blogs this early but I was bored and need something to do so did this to kill some time lol.

I feel so misunderstood by so many people...

I sometimes feel misunderstood by my teachers and my friends and even my family. Why does my life get so complicated that I can't even understand it sometimes? I really can't take this shit anymore! The pressure or the stress of school and life is really annoying me. My teachers are pushing me to do way more things that I can handle. I feel over stressed everyday in school. My friends are constally joking with me and its hurting me weather they think its funny or not it really hurts me. My family doesn't even know half the things I feel or how I see the world. My whole life is changing before me and my life is flashing. I would give anything to be young again or to just be reborn and start a whole new life because right now I feel like my life sucks. I constantally feel depressed and constally worry about death. I have a big fear of growing old and dying and that controls my life sometimes and I often cry my self to sleep thinking of stuff like that. I really don't know who to call my true friends because people I have been calling my true friends at some point really let me down or even hurt me mentally. Out of like all the friends I have right now I can only think of 2 I can call a true friend and I dont even trust those 2 people fully. I feel like I can't trust anybody. I have big trust issues now and its thanks to all the people who have let me down a lot. This is the time I would like to say that only my teddy bears fully understand the real me. I seriously need help but have no one to turn to because I can't trust anybody. I can't trust my teachers or my friends not even my own family. I feel like I'm all alone in the world with no one to talk to about my problems and thats why I'm the way I am because I'm hiding how I really feel about many things. I think about and question so many things that is so complicated there is no answer. Someone prove to me reincarnation is real and I'll stop fearing death.