Its been awhile

Its been quite a while since I last updated. Much has happened since then. I can't believe January is almost over though. There are a few things I like about February and a few things I hate about it. I normally hate Valentines day since its basically just for couples these days. All day in school I saw girls carrying around teddy bears big and small, chocolates, flowers, cards, balloons all given to them by their boyfriends. To make that worse everywhere I look there are couples holding hands, kissing eachother, and hugging eachother like they'd never see eachother again after that moment. Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone in a couples world. Sure ask all my friends they will say Justin and I are dating but thats not really true. We're just friends even though we all know I wish it were more. But I actually did used to be in a relationship. A long distance one but that didn't work out for me. Now I recentally found out my ex is actually married and has a daughter now and he's like a year older then me kind of. I can't believe that the fact he instally has a girlfriend when I broke up with him. I remember meeting him we were friends and he started liking me. We went to the same school until 7th grade then both went to schools in our home towns. We haven't seen eachother for 3 years eventually we met up again and hung out. But in those 3 years I've moved on he told me he hasn't many people have asked him out be he said no because of me. I bet you he was lying how else did he get a new girl so quickly? I'm sure eventually I'll have a nice relationship with someone but for now I'll live life the way it is and be happy for what I have now. I also want to make a difference in this world I dont know how but some how I will. I want to and will change the world someday and make it better.

My first entry in school

I'm in class right now in my humanities class, which by the way is a great class and one of my favorites.But right now I'm not enjoying it I'm sitting on the floor using a computer, which is really hard to do, but we're working in groups on our final project for our unit. I love having partners and working in groups but at the same time I hate it because I always have hard time getting partners and finding groups. No one ever wants to be my partner. I'm always the last picked. Very often I end up working on my own with no partner and sometimes I end up having to be partnered with the teacher. Gym class is the same way with team sports. I'm always the last to be picked. Even with my best friend in my class I'm still the last picked because my friends decicde they rather be partnered with a closer friend thats in class. I feel very unloved by my friends sometimes. In some cases I have group of friends where we're all friends with each other and I feel like everyone is so close to everyone but me. I feel like the odd person out sometimes. My friends have all have these inside jokes with each other and I'm always excluded from them. I don't know if its me or them but sometimes I feel like I dont have any friends when I know I do. The way I get treated by my friends sometimes is hurting me I know they're joking but I feel it gets out of hand sometimes. They joke too much with me now and now its hard to tell if they are or not. Sometimes the jokes even hurt me and they still think its funny. I don't really feel really apprieciated when I'm with a group of friends because they're all having such a good time but then leave me as the odd person out. Well I'm going to now because class is over or almost over enjoy my first blog entry in school lol.

Happy New Year!

I hope your New Years was just as good as mine. =) I had friends over and we haed a great time playing games like hungry hungry hippos and scene it lol. We played my Harry Potter Version. I also have a Nickeloden version but we didnt play it. I won the game. After midnight when my friends left thats when my new years actually went down hill really. My butt was really hurting I know not a pleasant thing to share but its true lol and it was serioud I couldnt walk, sit, or lay down. Even moving very little hurt and it was so hard to sit or lie down at all. I'm actually all better now though. I'm still in a little pain but I can walk again it still hurts a tiny bit to sit and lay down though. As long as I dont lie down on my back I'm fine though. This week went by a little faster then I thought it would and I really dont want to go back to school on Monday but then yet at the same time I do. The reason I want to is because before vacation I told all my teachers about my road test and how nervous I was and scared about how I would maybe fail and now I want to spread the news to all the teachers I told. The reason I don't want to go is because I procrastinated and I have homework but I still don't really feel like doing it because I have so much to do for just this one class. I have two more days to work on it though so I'll probably start working on it soon.