had to reset my password

I forgot the password to this account so I reset it and I'm good now. I really felt like posting on here. A lot has changed since I complained about Justin breaking up with me. I have a new boyfriend now we've been together since 9/20/10. Though I wanted to write this blog to vent more then update things. I had a fight with my mom and brother about shoveling. I hate snow so much its no fun anymore. My mom needed to get the driveway cleared so she could get her van in it but the snow got so hard to shovel. I miss being a kid when the only thing I did in the snow was play and make snowmen. Because of this stupid snow I'll have nothing to do tomorrow and probably the next day too. I'm out of college until January 25th. I hope the snow stops soon its deep enough as it as I dont want anmore snow! I don't have work until Wednesday I just hope the snow isn't still bad by then I hate driving in snow more than anything. Its like the most scariest experience ever! I don't want to experience driving in snow ever again!!!!

Men Stink

So Justin decided to break it off with me and just stay friends. I told him I'm fine about it but I'm not I'm like depressed and mad at the same time. He decided to tell me acouple of days ago he wants to be friends and does it through facebook. I seriously can't believe I wasted five years of my life waiting for him! I turned down so many guys hoping to get a chance with him and nothing. All those times I thought we were close to something and we weren't I hung out with him two nights ago and I felt like we were back to square one. The was no leaning on him or cuddling (if you called it cuddling) or holding hands and as much as I still wanted to do all that I kept convicing myself not to. I need my five years back but apparently we can't go back in time. This new semester coming up Tuesday I'm spending it looking for guys and if Justin ends up getting jealous or something I'll be like hey you had your chance to be with me I gave you five years of my life and you did nothing! Its someone else's turn to try to take my heart away now and hopefully this time they don't break it in anyway. I love guys but sometimes can hate them so much too. =p You know that saying you can't live with men yet you can't live without them either. I just hate how they seem to always play with our emotions half the time they don't even realize it! Like I said I wasted five years of my freaking life to get to be more than friends with him and nothing! I thought I was close until that message had to show up. =\I'm currently listening to My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne because her lyrics relate to me kinda. Oh that song could this be love? I'm sick of that song now!

Confused

I'm feeling a little depressed on my myspace I decide because I had nothing better to do I took a look at my ex's profile. Let me explain first after I left him he went off with another girl and got her pregnant. I think they're married now too but he's now a father. I'm kind of starting to think about him again and I think I might be jealous is this a good or a bad thing? I left him for many reasons and I don't plan on going back with him. I can't I mean the thing I have with Justin I can't lose that! We're in a relationship even if its complicated thats still a relationship to me. Justin means the world to me I'd never leave him but I feel weird that all of a sudden I have feelings for my ex again. They're small feelings but it has me all depressed now. My ex's baby is really cute now it makes me really want a kid! I saw pictures of him at freehold mall with his daughter on that train he must really love his daughter he seems like he's a really nice dad and its got me going crazy now! I can't be having feelings for my ex again he's with someone else and father! I want to be a mother but I don't want to have kids with him. Why do babies have to be so cute? It makes me really want to have one but I'm still too young. One day and maybe with you know who...